Are you Enabling?
Are you standing in the way of your addict from hitting bottom and seeking treatment? If the answer is yes, then you’re enabling.
Are you paying for or buying things for an addict that allows them to spend more money on drugs and/or alcohol? If the answer is yes, then you’re enabling.
It’s as simple as that.
Top 5 Ways Parents and Loved Ones Do While Enabling
1. Asking for a new phone:
The last thing an addict will sell to buy drugs is their phone. They need their phone to get drugs. If you pay their phone bill you are actually making it easier for them to buy drugs and feed their addiction. If they tell you their phone was lost or stolen, that really means, “I traded my phone for drugs.” Don’t buy them a new phone!
2. Bailing out of jail:
Jail is a horrible place to be. But jail is a lot safer for an addict than being on the streets where they can buy drugs. Only bail your child out of jail if they agree to go directly from jail to treatment. Have the facility all set up and your child’s suitcase all packed up before you pick them up and send them to treatment, ideally somewhere far so they won’t be able to leave. If your child bolts and doesn’t go to treatment, don’t bail them out again.
3. Paying for car, insurance or gas:
A car is an addict’s second favorite possession. It is a place of shelter, a place to use drugs and a way to get drugs. If you pay for gas, you are allowing them to buy more drugs. If your loved one asks you for $10 for gas, that is $10, of their own money, they can spend on drugs.
4. Giving them clothes:
You may think that your child needs shoes, jacket, clothes, etc. for work or to keep warm. But an addict will trade those new shoes and clothes you gave them for drugs. And if you keep buying things for them, they won’t know what it’s like to hit bottom and they won’t ask for help.
5. Buying them food:
This may seem harsh, but the odds are 15 to 1 that your child would die from drug use before they die from starvation. You may think that buying them food is harmless, but it’s not really. Everything you do to help addict lengthens the time they’re risking their lives before they hit bottom.
So, are you enabling? Most likely, the answer is yes. Enough is enough. Find a treatment center for your child or loved one. It will save their lives.
